Combating the Misuse of
"Are We Dating the Same Guy?"

Facebook groups with names like “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” operate in countless cities across the country, amassing tens of thousands of members. While their original goal was to help women share genuine safety concerns and expose cheating men, many of these groups are no longer used constructively. Instead, members often post generic complaints, grievances, or even defamatory remarks—often over trivial matters about men they’ve never met. This negativity doesn’t make anyone safer; it simply drowns out legitimate concerns and fosters an environment where individuals are unfairly labeled, shamed, and ostracized without proper context or verification. It's unhealthy for all involved—men and women. Learn how we're taking action!

Our Mission | For Men | For Women | Call to Action | Legal

Our Mission

We’ve created this site to stand against the destructive misuse of "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook groups and similar platforms. By maintaining a continually updated and easily searchable list of:

The specific "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" (and similar) Facebook groups across various cities.
Current members actively participating in these groups.
All posts and comments shared by these members.

Unlike these unregulated and unverified lists, we aim to provide a transparent and accountable resource. Our information is gathered by a dedicated network of ethical women allies committed to combating the negativity and ongoing misuse of these groups. There are no comments or opinions—only verified facts about what exists in these groups.

By shedding light on these harmful practices, we strive to foster a respectful and truthful dating community where everyone deserves to be safe and respected.

Request Access to the List (For Men)

If you believe you’ve been unfairly targeted or simply want to check if you’ve been mentioned in these groups, please use the form below to request access to our list. If you suspect you have been defamed, we strongly recommend consulting qualified legal counsel.

Removal from Our List (For Women)

If you are a member of any "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" type groups and wish to be removed from our list, you must:

Delete all of your existing posts and comments from those groups.
Leave all such groups where you are currently a member.
Tell a friend—save someone embarrassment!

Posts notifying the group of this website are encouraged—they will not prevent you from being removed from our list—everyone should know how to remove themselves from our list.

How Removal Works

Our list is updated daily based on active membership. Most entries are removed automatically within one week of deleting your posts and leaving a group. If you wish to expedite this process, fill out the form below once you have completed the above steps. After verification, we will remove your name in our next daily update.

Call to Action

We believe that these “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” lists have outlived their original, beneficial purpose. What was once a platform to share legitimate safety concerns has devolved into a harmful cycle of gossip and defamation. Rather than fueling negativity and mistrust, we urge women to come together and:

Leverage Platform Safety Features: Use the block, report, and flag tools available on dating apps. By doing so, you address genuine issues quickly and responsibly. Lobby dating apps for better safety features and accountability reporting.
Support Fair Discourse: If you witness or participate in these groups, call out unfair behavior or comments. Promote balanced viewpoints and constructive feedback.
Stand for Ethical Conduct: Encourage group admins to set stricter posting guidelines so that any genuine red flags are handled responsibly.

Notify us of "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" type groups, so we can ensure they are monitored.

Interested in learning more or being part of the solution? By joining forces with like-minded individuals, we can build a more respectful online community where genuine concerns are addressed without resorting to character attacks.

Legally Speaking

Legal Responsibilities

We have methodically gained access to these groups to assess how they are being misused. We are deeply concerned by the hateful content posted by numerous members—who may be personally liable for defamation if their statements are false and cause reputational harm. Additionally, group administrators who choose not to remove such posts or who enforce rules preventing members from speaking out can also face legal consequences. By allowing or protecting defamatory behavior, they risk enabling ongoing harm and exposing themselves to liability.

Group Administrators, You Have a Unique Obligation

As group administrators, you have a unique obligation to ensure your group remains focused on genuine safety concerns. By tolerating or ignoring baseless complaints, personal attacks, or defamatory remarks, you not only allow harmful content to thrive but also risk legal liability for facilitating and enabling defamation.

Understanding Defamation

Defamation typically involves a false statement of fact—rather than an opinion—that damages someone’s reputation. Whether a statement is truly defamatory depends on jurisdiction and specific legal standards, but knowingly spreading or allowing false, harmful claims can open the door to lawsuits. Although many online platforms enjoy certain legal protections, these protections are not absolute—especially when group administrators enforce rules that discourage members from calling out harmful or defamatory posts and thus exercise more editorial control.

Summary of Liabilities

In short, both the individuals who post defamatory content and the administrators who facilitate or ignore it risk legal exposure, as their actions may be seen as contributing to reputational harm. Because these groups have chosen not to take action to protect individuals from defamatory or malicious statements, we are taking steps to expose this misuse.

Disclaimer

The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. If you believe you have been defamed or are concerned about legal liabilities, please consult with a qualified attorney.